Breaking News: Eagles' Shawn Andrews Likes Twitter

Written By Bob Cunningham On Saturday, March 13, 2010's John Gonzalez thinks this is a real pic.

What? This isn't breaking news? Well pardon me for thinking that the well-qualified scribes over at wouldn't waste our time with anything that isn't breaking news or of the highest quality analysis.

But that's exactly what's John Gonzalez decided to do when he wrote up this little gem about Shawn Andrews and his affinity for Twitter. Apparently a 27-year old semi-famous man is a topic of discussion because he likes this new form of social interaction that I don't fully understand.

(By the way, follow me on Twitter!)

Gonzalez starts off this Pulitzer Prize candidate by talking about how Andrews is apparently addicted to Twitter and offers a career change for the embattled lineman.

"Forget football. He could replace Dave Spadaro and the entire Internet team down at the NovaCare Complex all by himself," Gonzalez writes. "He's that prolific."

You're that hilarious, Gonzo.

He then goes on to tell us about one day in which Andrews "tweeted an astounding 134 times - or roughly one tweet every 10 minutes." That, of course, led to this always-used-but-never-less-funny joke: "I wonder if he has a shower-proof Twitter device or if he just skips cleaning himself altogether."

Get it? He "tweets" so much that he doesn't take showers. You know, because it would mean he couldn't tweet were he to take a shower. Unless, of course, he has a phone or some other internet-ready device that is waterproof.

Seriously, who is this guy and why in the hell is he qualified to be taking pokes at anybody?

I mean honestly which of his editors approved this story for the website? Who in their right mind thought it was something that just had to be read by everyone and that we'd all get a kick out of this hack taking a poke at Andrews via his laptop?

The only bit of this that might make sense, to which he fails to allude, is that maybe we should all be upset because Andrews is tweeting rather than rehabbing. But even that is fairly half-assed as we have no idea what his schedule is, what he's doing, or what he should be doing to rehab.

But, as is usually the case with these people, they're not going to let a little thing like common sense stand in their way.

Smart money says little Gonzo isn't saying a word of this to the Big Kid personally, unless of course he idolizes Jim Rome. He would rather hide behind his laptop and take a poke at the guy because he knows a lot of Philly has had enough of Andrews not seeing the field.

Anything to get the public riled up, right? That's what journalism, especially in the sports and political arenas, has come down to: What can we do to get the general public talking?

Now I know, some of you may be asking yourself why I took the time to read it and respond to it on here if I think it's such a waste of time. And the answer is that when I started this site I wanted to do it not only because the Eagles coverage, and NFL coverage in general, that is available is, for the most part, garbage -- but to call these people out, when needed, as well.

It's nothing but a bunch of guys who decided they wanted people to listen to and/or read their nonsense regardless of topic. These guys chose sports and apparently bumbled their way into Philadelphia. Hooray for me, and hooray for you.

I read the article -- or what more or less looked like an old post from someone's Xanga page -- because I knew it would be nonsense and, look at that, I was right. Not all the guys over at are bad, but this Gonzalez character is one that just needs to go away.

With analytic gems such as this in response to a tweet by Jeff McLane that the Eagles would not be signing Justin Fargas: "For the Huggie Bear jokes alone, the Birds need to reconsider."

Or this one in response to the signing of Chad Hall:
"Waiting list for season tickets just got longer. Take that, Phillies! The Eagles are back."

Or there's this one in response to the Hank Baskett signing: "Hooray. Maybe they'll bring back Feely & complete the Super Bowl puzzle."

By the way, folks, this is all on his Twitter feed. So, apparently, it's okay to Tweet, but not if you happen to play for the Eagles and do it in excess. The definition of what is and is not "excess," by the way, is determined solely by John Gonzalez.

So keep it up, Mr. Gonzalez. You're a big man behind your computer, your hypocrisy apparently knows no bounds, and you write the way I did in second grade. Why anyone pays you for your opinions is beyond me, and you're an embarrassment to real Eagles fans everywhere.

As says one commenter by the name of "ahab" (like the captain): "I'll take Andrews' Twitter over this mean-spirited twaddle any day of the week... What a pinhead."

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